Friday, July 15, 2011

PORTO REVISITED, MON 7.11.2011 MOR



A conversation weeks ago at Dunkin' Donuts, Bali:


I asked, “So when you came back, did you feel like your surfing improved?”

“No,” said Randy. “I had to get used to wearing a wetsuit again and riding small waves. . . . I sucked.”


Crew: Jon M.
Time: 0645-0800, 1 hr. & 15 min.
Conditions: Gloomy, slight north current, 3 ft., random peaks.

Since landing in LAX on Thursday, I had to get ready for work on the weekend. Facing brutal jetlag and a cold upon landing, I muster up the energy to surf as soon as possible. I told myself in Bali that I'd “kill the ego,” but I am human. I've waited for this moment, the moment I'd paddle out at my local break to see and feel my improvement first hand. At the same time, I don't want to be an asshole or get too cocky. I know I didn't “conquer” Bali. In fact, I know that it's just the first of many trips in the making. Nonetheless, aren't we all human? Can I blame myself for wanting to see how I'd do at Porto after my month long experience?

A mantra of old, and I'm now doing it again. I pull up to the Porto lot with my friend Jon trailing behind me. He's from my original surf group, back when I was on the gayest, epoxy 7'10 NSP with bright red flames on it. I let him sample my 6'6 Merrick MB, and I have no choice but to use my backup 6'1 DMS because China Air dinged my JS. It's weird looking out at the ocean and little peaks here and there. It's crowded, and it's not the same kind of crowded that I dealt with in Bali. In Bali everyone masses at the peaks. Here, it's just one continuous line as far as the eye can see, with thicker concentrations in front of 45th, the shitters, and the sandwich shack.

We walk to the tanks (or now it's just one tank) like the good old days and time our paddle out. Jon tells me that regardless of his recent weight gain that he's one of the standout students at his martial arts school. Unintentionally, I cut him off as the last wave of the set dissipates. I grab my board, run out, and say, “I'll see you out there!” Porto's gray waters welcome me. My timing is off for the paddle out, but I still get to the line up with ease. I turn around, and I have no idea what the fuck happened to Jon.

I look back to check my position. Right here, in front of the small, white tank, this is where I'm holding. My first couples waves have no shape, but at least the little three footers are standing up a little for a fast ride. The waves are closing, but I still tuck in and practice staying close to the face. I get pinched, but why not get pinched? There's no reef, nothing pokey below, it's not five feet Randy/Bali scale, and the paddle to the lineup is ridiculously short from the shore; from now on there is no reason not to go for it. When I recheck my position, I see that I've drifted north. I look for Jon; there's still no sign of him. Where the fuck is this guy?

My wetsuit is loud. A gift from Manny A., a free “hand-me-down.” It's a brand new Hurley wetsuit, dark blue, it has light blue lines on it, there is white trim on the back, and it's short sleeved. It attracts attention that I don't want, but ninety-nine percent of surfers are unsponsored, so what right do I have to complain about a free wetsuit. Thanks, Manny, I'm grateful.

Carrying the same attitude from Bali, I say hi to the locals that I paddle past. There's the heavy set guy with a beard on his longboard. “Good morning,” I say.

“Good morning!”

There's the local guy on his short board, Caucasian dude. “Mornin',” I say.

“How are you?”

“Good, good.”

I look north and see Jon sitting on his ass on the sand. He's by the smoke stacks. Fuckin' A. He walks in front of me and starts pointing towards his van. I wave at him, motioning my arm as if to tell him, “Get your fucking ass back in the water!” He sits and watches, and I go for more waves.

My DMS feels so tiny compared to the JS, but to my surprise I'm actually catching waves. I should be scratching out, but I'm popping up before the lip curls. No, no fancy turns this morning, but it's still an awesome feeling being back in the water. I'm paddling hard, kicking my feet, no one's getting in my way, and everyone seems pretty mellow. On a left the section tries to close out on me, but I pump ahead to keep momentum, walk the nose, and take it to the inside. My rights are rusty, as I lose speed on my top turn. In Bali I barely caught any rights.

I look back to see Jon giving me his final wave as he walks back to his van. After my next ride I am faced with an oncoming set as I paddle back out. Testing my duckdive, I see if I can make it under the waves effortlessly. I fail. My board's still snatched away on a couple waves. It's a reminder that I need to work on it. A guy paddles next to me. He's short, stocky, dark like me; has short, even length, black hair with a little salt and pepper look to it. He looks Polynesian, but I can't tell for sure.
I say, ”Good morning.”

“Weren't you over there?” He's pointing towards 45th
 
“Yeah, I was, but I got washed around a little, so now I'm over here.”

“Oh . . . because I was watching you.”

I can't read this guy's mind, but the whole energy of the conversation feels positive. I guess I was doing something right for someone to be watching. Two of the local rippers--this young guy with long, curly hair, and this other guy with short hair wearing a grey wetsuit with what looks like a Swiss emblem on it--show up on the scene. I become self conscious of my loud attire then feel the pressure to do good. It throws me off a little. I tell myself to be humble and that just because I went to Bali doesn't mean that I'm the John Holmes of El Porto now. It's almost eight, it's time to pay for parking, so I cut my session short to start the day's errands.

I'm ashamed to say that I expected to hit the water and just shred. Again, I'm not perfect. But it was still a good welcome home session for me. I'm thinking positive and looking forward to my progression back home.

Friday, July 8, 2011

A Barney in Bali--Day 30, 07JULY2011 THU

The only thing better than taking a piss is looking at fish while taking a piss.


Day 30:


    I know that this post doesn’t have a surf session in it, but to make this thing complete, I have to document my journey home. It’s a good way to put a lid on things, and traveling can sometimes make for a good story as well. Anyways, here goes nothing.


Always Drift:


    I don’t mean to “rag on” Bali, but Denpasar is Bali’s only airport, and it’s a little brutal. Even though it’s nearing one in the morning, some vendors and snack shops are still open. It’s not LAX or JFK, so I spend some time walking around since it‘s small. I remember that one of my soldiers specifically asked for a keychain. I walk in the first shop, see a key chain, ask how much, and the vendor says, “Five dollars.”

    Fuck . . . that’s like 50,000 rupiah? I’m still thinking like I’m in Kuta. That’s a good sized meal and a drink; it’s a rip off. I pick up the same keychain at another vendor, and she says, “Forty thousand.”

    “Forty! That’s like four dollars.” I look down and rub the Bintang logo with my thumb. “How about twenty-thousand?”

    She smirks and says, “No.”

    I have no bargaining power here; it’s an airport. I tell myself that I’ll just tell my soldier that I forgot. I picture it in my head.

    She’ll say with a huge smile, “Oh, Sergeant R, where’s my keychain?!”

    Then that’s where I’ll act surprised, roll my eyes back, slap my forehead, and say, “Ohhhhhhhhhh my godddd! I am SO SORRRRRY. I tooooootally forgot.”

    I already feel bad before I’ve lied to her. I go into the next shop, and the vendor is selling the same keychain for only twenty-thousand. Score. Those other ladies were trying to gouge me.



    What to do? I wander around the airport looking for a snack bar. I got all this rupiah, and traveling makes me hungry. I see a little café, the host shows me the menu, but everything is 60K and over. Again, I picture all the splurging I’ve done for that price. Banana splits, pad Thai, and strong ass coffee with a heap of chocolate ice cream flashes through my mind. I find a smaller vendor and buy a green tea, and then I find a little snack shop and buy a burger. It’s expensive still, but not as. It’s my first burger in Bali, and at least it’s at the airport on the way out.



    I walk as far as I can in the terminals. It’s like a little maze with closed shops, shops about to close, massage parlors, pricey restaurants that still have customers, and one cyber café that charges 100,000 for internet. A rat darts out in front of me with some food from an offering. A Chinese tourist crossing my path sees the same. We both smile and look at the hole it crawled into. I turn the corner and find empty restaurant seating where I whip out my computer. I shoo away mosquitoes as I type. I hear rats scurrying in the wall next to me. It’s time to board.


   
The First Leg:


    Red eye flights should be empty, and this one is barely half full. One thing about flying in this part of the world, everyone is in a rush. There aren’t even that many people, and before the announcer can make the boarding call, everyone is stampeding to the entrance. I’m thinking, what’s the difference?

    I’m so tired. I’m in the emergency exit aisle, so I have more than enough leg room. I wake up to the flight attendant asking me to read my orders in case of an emergency. I look to my right and no one’s sitting there. I rack out again. I’m waken up by the flight attendant asking me if I want chicken sausage or something else for breakfast. I didn’t hear the other option, but I say, “Chicken sausage!” I eat everything.


    Into the fourth hour, I can’t sleep anymore. I wake up to piss, write a little, and then I feel a shit coming on. I leave my camera behind which is a huge mistake. Everything I ate yesterday: Dunkin’ Donuts, bread with peanut butter, one cracker, Javanese food, the dessert that looks like halo-halo, the banana split, the French fries, and that burger I just ate, it all comes out of my asshole, spilling out a monument that a Greek sculpture would be proud of. It’s huge and piled up. The empty bowl with no water enhances the richness of the aroma. It’s looks like three people shitted in a porta potty, but no, this was just the work of one man. It’s “blue ribbon” award worthy.

    There’s turbulence, the door handle’s being jiggled, so I say goodbye to one of my most fairest creations. As I open the door, there’s a stewardess telling me to return to my seat. As I close my laptop, another one stops herself from telling me to put it away. I store it with my backpack under the seat, and another stewardess tells me I need to put it in the overhead compartment. Fuckin’ A. It’s like a damn police state in this plane. I slouch, wondering if they’ll tell me to sit up. They don’t, but they tell me to open my window. What the fuck?!



Taipei:



    When we land, I do as the travelers do and rush myself to the door. The airport is pretty empty, and I try to find my gate. It’s another song and dance, I have to go through the metal detector, take off my belt and everything else metal, let my pants sag, and put everything back on. After I find my gate I discover that there’s free wifi here, but I still have money issues. My layover is eight hours long, I’m still traveling, so I need to eat.



    I burn five bucks to make a call from a payphone, talk to B of A, and they tell me my card is fine. So . . . I guess the guy at Denpasar or their machine was fucked up. I exchange 200,000 rupiah for Taipei money, about 620. I find several little snack places, but there are no outlets. Finally, I come upon one that is cheap, has comfortable seating, and power.


    I’m sitting by the food court railing overlooking the daily flow of travelers. I order a bowl of Pork noodle soup and a glass of bubble milk tea. The portions are huge. I’m eating fat, but when I do the calculations, it totals out to $9.00 US. Goodbye to cheap eating. Now I have to piss like a racehorse, I have less than two hours to board, and I need to find a bathroom.






No Sleep ‘Til El Segundo:


    I wait until I’m hungry again then find another restaurant to spend my remaining funds. I have a hard time deciding, so I order the red bean and taro shave ice. I know it’s just an airport in Taiwan, and I haven’t experienced real Taiwan, but I can at least say that their airport food has large portions. I keep expecting a tiny plate, but when my order arrives, it’s big enough for two people to share.


    Once I’m done, I sit at the gate and wait to board. I haven’t slept during the whole layover in hopes to sleep during this twelve hour flight. They haven’t made the boarding call, but everyone starts moving to the gate already.

    I have a window seat towards the back of the plane. An old Asian guy has the aisle, and I have the window. It’s a mystery who’s going to sit next to me, then a tiny, elderly Asian woman scoots her way between us. Everything is cool until she starts coughing without closing her mouth. Good lord. I put my gigantic book closer to my face. I’m not a germaphobe, but I’ve made it this far without getting sick, and I’m not looking to start when I get home. I hate to admit this, but I’m already annoyed to begin with, expecting the worst.

    Once we’re in the air, the old lady next to me is fascinated with the headrest monitor in front of her. I start to play a movie, and she leans in closer to me to see what I’m doing. I look at her, and she has the most gracious smile. This woman could be someone’s grandma, and right now with the kindness on her face, she may as well be mine.

    When the stewardess hands out water, the lady grabs it for me and hands it over without thinking. When we are both done with our meals, she starts going through my tray, touching wrappers to see if they are empty, checking under lids to see if I’ve eaten all of my food, and finally putting my salt, pepper, and toothpick in her purse. Then she whips out her own food from the same purse which looks like crackers and a gray pudding. When she’s done eating, and before the stewardess arrives, she takes my empty tray and puts it on top of hers.

    She must be blowing farts because something stinks every ten or fifteen minutes. I’m well versed in the art of public farting, so I know it’s close. But I’m like “fuck it,” I start letting my ass rip too, so we’re trading off farts the whole plane ride.

    When she sleeps she’s leaning all over me, but at least she’s not drooling. I’m uncomfortable the whole flight. There are small periods that I doze off but no real rest. I try to read my book, but the overhead lamp is so bright that it lights up everyone around me, so I turn it off and stick to the movies. I watch “Limitless,” “The Adjustment Bureau,” and “Just go With it.” Romantic comedies are so predictable, but I need to kill time.

    When we land, the old lady is next to me as we’re going down the escalator. I hate to make judgments, but I’m not sure if she’s ever rode one before. She’s losing her balance and struggling to hold on to something, as her carry-on almost tumbles away. She grabs my arm, and I carry her bags as we descend to the first floor.

    It takes forever for my surfboard to arrive, and the line for customs is endless. I get to the customs agent, but he lets me skip the whole bag searching process. As I wait for Lauren to pick me up, I see the same old lady that sat next to me. The poor thing, she’s holding a piece of paper that reads:

    I DO NOT KNOW ANY ENGLISH. I AM TRAVELING TO VIETNAM. PLEASE HELP ME.

    The sight breaks my heart: the old woman in blue pants, pink sandals, a burgundy coat, and a pink hat, she‘s vulnerable. An airport employee talks to her and leads her back inside.

    Lauren arrives, but I tell her that I’m gonna need to brush my teeth and take a shower before I ravage her; I smell like third world ass. The traffic feels odd. We’re driving on the right hand side, and I’m in a car. I ask her to take me to Porto. I know I’ll be busy unpacking and won’t be able to surf, but I need to at least see the ocean to make this trip come full circle.

    We park at the meters in the early evening. The water is flat and choppy, and a couple longboarders sit towards the inside. There is nothing to ride. I see a couple people suiting up, and I’m thinking, suiting up for what? For the whole month in Bali I never saw anything so dismal. I think about Balangan and that long left hand point break. I think about the reef and how it made each movement on the wave so critical. Even the smallest days were much better than this. All of a sudden a sense of loss comes over me. No more forests, rice fields, small towns, and warungs lining the beach. No more reef dancing and riding on water so clear that I can see everything below me. In front of me, the water is shapeless, silver and gray, and dribbling on shore. If I never went to Bali, this would’ve been my surroundings for the past month. I think about my progress. How much did I move forward? A year’s worth of surfing in one month? No, too much. Six months maybe, given the comparison of conditions. I don’t have the words for a trademark, philosophical ending to this whole experience. I’m back. I’m home. A Barney went to Bali, and now this is El Porto surf all over again. But with this new perspective I have, I don’t see all of this through the same lens; I see more than I ever have before. I’m frothing to get back out there and catch a wave, Bali or not, it doesn’t matter. There’s surf in SoCal, and that’s all that counts. I’m still humble, and instead of knowing more, I know more about what I don’t know. It’s the end of a vacation but not the end of the journey.


The Beginning

A Barney in Bali--Day 29, 06JULY2011 WED

Goodbye Dunkin' Donuts. Thanks to your strong coffee, my bro and I were able to get to a strong start to our mornings.


One More for the Road:   



Breakfast special. 12,000 rupiah
Last night my brother gave me the option of where I wanted to surf. He said that Daz was down for a paddle out as well. The options were either Nusa Dua or Uluwatu again. It was kind of a big decision. Should I score a crowded, world class wave on my last day, or should I go somewhere that I can have all to myself? The swell was predicted to drop again, so it’s not like the surf would be epic anywhere. But I’ve learned since being here that no matter how flat the prediction, there are places that will at least be a solid Bali three feet no matter what. We decide on meeting at Dunkin’ Donuts at 0630.

  
    I went to sleep at about 0100 last night. I wake up, look at my watch, and it’s 0527. Fuck, I could just get up now, but I’m so tired. I close my eyes, open them again, and it’s 0540. I consider it a blessing that my body’s woken itself up this early; this is the earliest since I’ve been at the Ayu Beach Inn. I take my time, get my gear ready, and head out in the morning darkness. It’s the last morning, surf session, ride that I’ll be doing in a while. I try to absorb the moment. There are only a few taxis and mopeds on the road, a few street lamps and neon lights illuminate the street, shadows grow darker away from the road, the cool air hits my face, and the hum of the motor is all I can hear. I fill up the tank and head to Dunkin’. Randy’s not there. Today is a holiday, or the “Indonesian Christmas.” The workers are wearing celebratory clothing, and they’re still opening the store.

    I grab my coffee, skip the donut again, and start to eat my breakfast sandwich. The TV is off, which sucks. Television in other countries intrigues me, and who can’t resist Indonesian Scooby Doo? Just as I dust off my sandwich, I see Randy pull up. He says that Daz is running late, but that we’ll check out Nusas without him.

    We start off the morning with another episode of “What Would Randy Do?” Traveling to Bali has really opened my eyes and made me curious about other possible surf adventures. I ask him, “If you had an opportunity to travel somewhere and sit on a spot for about a month, where would it be?”

    Without hesitation, he says, “Sumbawa . . . Sumbawa, Lakey Peak.”

    I wonder if he’s understood my question because I intended to find out where he’d go other than Bali or Indo. He then explains to me about why Indo is so good.

    He says, “I know that you’re thinking Thailand, Matt, but Thailand is seasonal.” He sits up in his chair, looks at the table, and mimics the motion of his hand chopping something. “You can surf there, but there’s only surf in the wet season.”

    “What about PI?”

    “PI, too. There’s waves, but it’s not year round. The thing about Bali is that we get swell during the wet season, and we get swells during the dry season from Australia in the summer. The other places don‘t do that.”

    His insight on the matter kind of kills my drifter fantasy. I really wanted to see those countries and knock out surf at the same time, and despite the seasonal issue, these other places don’t really compare when it comes to surf. So is it be better to travel and sightsee while surfing waves that won’t put you to the test, or is it better to make surfing the priority and go where the waves are heavy?

    Randy goes on about Sumbawa. He says, “The wave is like this.”  He pulls up his hand and shapes a “C” with it. “But that’s strictly a surf spot. Once you land, the surf is right there. You don’t have to go anywhere.”

    We switch the subject and talk about my trip since I’ve been here. I ask him, “Have I seen six feet in Bali . . . at all!?”

    Randy looks down, shakes his head, and says, “Nah . . . maybe . . . five feet at the most.”

    I’m not surprised. He feels like getting another coffee. I tell him I’ll get one with him, but we look at the clock and decide to start the morning. I go to release the morning mud before we leave. The toilet has one of those faucet things with the water spout that shoots up into your bunghole. I’m already sold on rinsing my anus off with the sprayer thing, so I give this contraption a try. I turn the knob for pressure, but I open it too much. The water pressure misses my asshole, hit’s the inside rim of the toilet bowl, and water ricochets all over my face and lips. I shut the water off and this time open the valve slowly, but it’s no use, the sights are off. I’m not sure if any shit germs are now on my face, but I wipe myself off and check the toilet paper; there are no brown marks.

    We head out to Nusa Dua. In the villages, all the locals are dressed up and heading somewhere. There’s a holiday feel in the air, but not one based on consumerism. The last couple days, there was no traffic from people rushing to get last minute gifts. They are mostly carrying food, and it seems that their presence alone is enough. It reminds me of going to little Filipino parties, growing up on Maui, but this is a much larger scale.

    We can’t park at our usual lookout point because there’s a party at the temple. A Balinese woman calls for her dog that prances in front of Randy and I. It jumps over the small wall onto the next lot, but it’s about a seven foot drop down. The woman gasps, but then we see the dog prancing around again in the distance. She’s relieved. It was a weird sight to see it just jump over the wall like that, almost suicide-like.

Low Tide

    We can see waves breaking, there’s definitely surf there, but the reef is completely drained. It looks like a long walk out to the line up.

    “I’ve never seen it this low,” says Randy.

    He dismounts to take a piss behind a wall. We watch two surfers to see if they catch anything. They don’t.

    “Okay,” says Randy. “Here’s the deal. We can either go to Uluwatu and surf cleaner, crowded, waves . . . or we can surf this.”

    “I’m just worried about the tide, if it’s breaking too close or not.” It’s a moment of indecisiveness. Uluwatu is so tempting. It’s such a beautiful place, I’ve only surfed it once, I know for sure that there are good waves there, but again, I don’t want to have to deal with crowds on my last day. “Let’s just surf here.”

    Randy gets on his phone and sends a last line of communication to let Daz know what we’re doing. “Daz will probably be turned off by this,” he says.

    I contemplate for another moment. “Okay, we can surf Ulus I say.”

    “What, you sure?”

    I’m reluctant, a couple seconds pass. I look back out. “I know you don’t want to surf here.”

    “Bro, it’s up to you. It’s your last day. I can do either. We can surf here if you want.”

    “Okay, let’s do it.”



Interesting Characters:


    We park down by the one empty warung. I’ve never seen the place packed, but they’ll watch your stuff for you if you got valuables. Half way through preparation, a guy pulls up on a moped. He says hi to us, and we start talking about the surf. His name is Carlos, and (interesting enough) he’s a surf traveler from the Dominican Republic of all places. All the dialogue is just small talk, but his insights on certain things resonate with me. He has bandages all over his ankles.

    Randy asks, “Ohhh! What happened?!”

    “Ahhh. I try to wear reef booties to protect the reef. But instead, the reef kicked my ass.” He looks down at the gauze around both ankles. There is so much that he looks like a muay Thai fighter.

    We start talking about the surf today and how the tide is low. Carlos says that he’ll probably never surf Bali on a low tide again. He has a trip planned for the Mentawais, but he says that he’s “over it,” and that he’d just rather stay in Bali. Randy asks why, and Carlos says that you’ll definitely score, but that after you’re done surfing, there’s nothing to do.

    Carlos says, “After the surf, you just sit on the boat, and then what? There’s no restaurant, no womenz! Just eat oatmeal everyday.”

    I think to myself . . . Mentawais sounds awesome, but I’m sure he’s right. That would be a trip just for surf, strictly for surf. And with all the good food in town, it would be hard to be limited oatmeal for a week.

    Carlos also fills us in on the crowds, that nowadays there are more surf boat trips, and that when they see your boat, other boats just dock next to it. “At least fourteen people in the water when you pull up,” he says.

    Randy was adamant that I keep the details out of their next conversation. They talked about the “secret spots” that they both know. It turns out that Carlos is waiting for Daz, and he’s part of Randy’s surf circle, so they share the info. It sounds intense. “It’s round,” says Carlos. He makes a “C” shape with his hand. I guess everyone does out here. “Even two feet, the wave is round. It stands up so much. You not getting barreled, but it feel like you getting barreled.”

    Randy’s already frothing at this point, and they agree to hit up the spots together in the future.



One Last Reef Dance?:


    The tide is so low that you can only walk to the line up, just short of where the waves are breaking. If you haven’t been able to tell from the Nusa Dua pics, it’s pretty far. Randy says that that’s why it’s barely packed there. No one wants to make that long ass paddle when the tide is up. And of course, reef dancing has its challenges.

    Our walk has different depths. One moment we’re waist deep and the next we are fully exposed. Randy’s especially careful after his vana incident, but he’s still three or four car lengths ahead of me. Randy spots things on the way there. “Baby lobster!” he shouts back at me. A couple paces later he says, “Sea snake!” I thought I was the explorer, I’m thinkin’. I’m so worried to step on something. The last thing I want is to have to title my next blog “Nusa Dua’s Revenge,” so I completely miss everything my brother finds.


    Randy says the one word that slows me down even more, “Vana!” I look down a couple paces later, and they’re everywhere. Every little dark patch that looks like a shadow is a sea urchin. We’re nearing the white wash, the water’s moving around, I lose visibility, so I can only pray that my feet will do the rest.



Classic Brotherly Moments:


    My grandpa had a pasture in the West Maui mountains. It was pretty high up there past the pineapple fields. It was the biggest and most beautiful out of all the ones that we maintained. He worked for Maui Land & Pineapple Co., so he had access to all the gates.

    It’s not uncommon for people to “grow” in Maui. My brother was still in high school, and I was probably in sixth grade on some school break vacation visiting from L.A. My brother and I hopped over the barbed wire fence which bordered the pasture. We walked into some dense vegetation, dark, canopied by the forest. I forgot what happened with the plants, if we saw them, planted them, checked on them, or left with them. What I do remember was hearing a wild boar snorting around in the bushes around us.

    We both froze in panic. Randy was in front of me. He put his arm out to stop me at the shoulder and said, “Wait!”

    Being a young pussy and scared shitless, I held my breath as Randy approached the bush with only a metal ditch digging pipe to defend himself. As he neared the bush, the whole fucking thing started shaking. He took a step back and held the pipe, but the boar wasn’t coming out. Randy turned to me and said to run on his signal.

    I was thinking the worst, running full speed, chubby and dumb, heading back to the safety of the barbed wire. We MacGuyver-hopped that fence. I don’t think he ever told my grandpa what happened.

    On this very morning, decades later, we stand in ankle deep water on pokey reef staring at some big sets breaking right in front of the shelf. The white wash comes in, raises the sea level, and we’re knocked backwards, awkwardly struggling to maintain footing.

    “Woooooooh!” Randy shouts. He’s smiling and being pushed back with me. It’s out of character. Usually he’s stone cold, sober as a judge, and cool as a cucumber when we’re in the water. Whenever he’s calm, I feel calm. This doesn’t mean he’s scared, but I barely see this from him, so I’m expecting that this situation may be somewhat heavy.


    “Okay,” he says. “We’re going to have to time this!” Another set crashes, white wash explodes, we’re in knee deep water from the rush, then it goes ankle deep again. “We can paddle out here!”

    I look down and see hard reef, brown plants growing on it, a couple purple things, and some green slimy stuff. Right here.

    “We just gotta get past that shelf,” he says. “So . . . just paddle your ass off.” We brace the next set. “Are you ready!?” he asks.

    Do I really have a choice? Of course not. What a question filled with contradiction. They should replace “are you ready” with “we’re going.”

    The white wash crashes, it lifts us. “GO!” he says.


    I’m paddling, the shelf is right below us, and it’s so shallow. We’re paddling through foam, and all I can do is look in the distance, waiting for that bump that’ll make my back look like grated cheddar. The water’s getting deeper, the wave in front of us is small, and by the time we have to duckdive we’re in deep water.

    When we reach the outside, Randy lets out another “Wooooooh!” He’s smiling again as he looks behind us at the crashing set. “We made it!”

    My heartbeat starts to settle. We made it. I’m glad we did.



Surf Closure:


    It’s not the wave buffet that it was two days ago. The swell has dropped so much, but there are still some sets to start the sesh. Not all the waves have shape.

    “If you go right, watch out for the shelf,” says Randy.

    Out of naïve inexperience, I paddle for a right that has a shoulder. It’s a big tilting wave, but by the time I finish dropping in and try to set up my bottom turn, the section’s about to curl over me. I thought it had a shoulder. I look down and see the brown plant life. I’m thinking about the reef. Oh God, here it comes. I try to ass plant at the base as it closes out, doing everything to stay behind the wave and not in front. It crashes, I’m swirling, but it’s controlled. I don’t know how, but I never feel the bottom. I paddle back out to Randy.

    “You went for the right,” he says.

    “Yeah . . . I can’t believe I didn’t hit the shelf.”

    I can’t bullshit myself. I’m freaked out. I think I’m lucky. The wave closed out right over the shelf. It was a set wave; I should’ve been torn to shreds. I’m humbled and cautious. A perfect A-frame appears out of no where, but we’re both out of position.

    “Awwwww! That’s the one I’ve been waiting for!” says Randy.

    We adjust and sit in that spot. Another one comes, I’m in perfect position right in the middle of the peak.

    “Go!” Randy yells.

    I’m one stroke away, see the section building, but I pull out. Randy catches the next left while I bob on the outside.

    He comes back and says, “Don’t be afraid to go for the bombs.”

    I sit and think. I’m already frustrated at myself, but the reef just has me freaked out. It’s still shallow. “I’m not afraid.” I say.

    “You passed up a good one.”

    I know I did, it‘s a backhanded comment that I don‘t really need. I smile defensively, pause, and say, “I know I missed it. It‘s obvious. I’m just a little worried about the reef.”

    “You’re thinking too much.”

    I’m going for the next one, I’m thinking. I catch a left, but the waves are a little fast for me this morning. I can only angle as I’m dropping, and then I have to safely fall as the wave closes. I catch a small handful, but I don’t get any turns. Randy’s good, he rides them much longer, and kicks out over the shoulder, unscathed, on the inside.

    One more bomb comes in, but we’re both out of position again. Two boats come to drop off some surfers, but they’re going to another spot. From there, the surf goes dead. It may be the rising tide, but Nusa Dua may as well be a tiny day at Porto. We can see the other peaks working, but they are really far away.

    It’s my last surf session of the trip. It’s not an epic one, but it’s quiet, no ones around, it’s peaceful, it’s not gnarly, and I’m spending it with my one and only blood brother. I was always concerned about getting seriously injured by the surf out here, and this session was more like a sense of closure. I’ve had my fun, faced ball shrinking conditions, obliterated the zones of my comfort level, and here I am now, perfectly fine.

    I tell Randy that I’m good. I need to check out of the hotel anyway. I catch my last Nusa Dua wave. It’s shapeless, but I use it to straighten out and take me in. I’m a little sad. Not for the lack of surf but that all these surf adventures have officially come to an end.



Time To Go:


    Instead of a long walk back, it’s now a long paddle back. I paddle in way ahead of Randy; I don’t see him anywhere. And yet, as soon as I touch the sand, the fuckin’ guy is right behind me. Damn him and his bionic paddle!

    Daz waits for us near the stairs as we walk in. 

    Daz says, “Boys, we seen you out there. We’ve been watching, but the other guys went to go grab something to eat.” He’s wearing a faded pink shirt and an old baseball cap. He’ll never be confused for a fashion model; he’s all surf addict.

    He asks how it was, but I figure if he was watching that he probably saw me eating shit. Daz says he’s not gonna do it; it’s not his style. I say my farewells to him, say it’s been a pleasure, and that next time I’ll be better prepared to charge with him.

    “Yeah,” Daz says. “I tried to invite you guys to Sumbawa.”

    I’m thinking in my mind, I would’ve probably died at Sumbawa, especially after I’ve heard it pumped up by every surfer  here. Next time.

    The drive back is significant. It’s the last time that I’ll be on this machine, salt encrusted, plastered by Vertra, wedgied by my wet boardshorts, and feeling the Bali wind in my face. Sky said something to me that really stuck, it was from the first day I met him. I told him about how driving here scares the shit out of me.

    He replied, “All my friends that I talk to back home, when they talk about Bali, this is what they miss. Driving around here, being on the bike, heading out for an early morning surf, the trails, the roads.”

    Yeah . . . I can see that.

    I check out at the motel, stop by BK, say goodbye to Wulan and Citri, and I take a couple pics with them. Wulan apologizes that her husband Kadek can’t take me to the airport, but I tell her that she’s apologizing for nothing. She thanks me for the clothes and donations that I brought for them. I tell her that I’ll have a better Michael Jackson dance when I return.

Wulan, Citri, and their family have treated me like their own blood. Until next time.

    I’m riding with my board, suitcase, and backpack so stuffed that the zippers are bulging. I’m worried for that one accident to put the rotten cherry on top of the trip, but I make it to Randy’s without incident.

Jaya will be big the next time I see him.

    I unload the bike, shower, play with Jaya for a little bit, and then Randy and I head out for two hour massages, again, only for $10. This was planned. After all, what better way to prepare for a long international flight?








  

    Randy tells the people at the counter, “I want someone strong!”

    I’m worried at hearing this. HE wants someone strong. I just want a “massage.” When we enter the hallway there are two chicks. One has a pleasant smile, greeting me with a hand gesture to sit down. The second one is older, who’s face tells tales of war. She has an involuntary grimace. She’s not heavy, but her cheeks weigh down, and her expression has a grim quality. Fuck that, I’m thinking. I sit down with the first chick.

     I know what to expect now. She cleans off my feet, leads me upstairs, and it’s G-string time again. I learn that my upper back and calves are tight. She goes over them, feels the knots, sees that I’m squirming, and dedicates herself to indulging in my pain. Not only does she go over the knots, but she digs her fingers into them; they feel more like pressure points. And when I think that the worst is over, she’ll dig her finger above the painful spots, run it down slowly, and work out the knots again with each stroke. It’s like she’s ironing out wrinkles over my body.

    When I turn over I fall asleep as soon as she starts caressing my chest. She doesn’t put me in the “huckle buck” like the last person, but my body feels so loose and relaxed that I’m ready for a nap.


    We stop at the Javanese warung on the way home. It’s my official last splurge in Bali, so I get a big plate with dessert again. Back at the house, Randy asks me if I did everything that I wanted to do. I tell him that I didn’t get the barrel, but I accept that I don’t have the wave knowledge yet, and that I’ll just have to work on that.

    “Does Huntington barrel at all?” I ask. It was his favorite spot since moving from Oceanside.

    He lowers his eyebrows and nods his head. “Yeah, there’s barrels there. It’s a high performance wave.”

    He tells me that I should surf there if I want to improve and train for the next trip, and HB has the current and good combo swells when the conditions are right.

Last banana split shot, I pomise.
    There’s a little downtime before I fly. I’m already packed, I’m still full from dinner, so I go to Chat Café one last time to post the Uluwatu blog. It takes longer than I expect, and by the time I get back, Jessica and Jaya are in bed. Randy’s up, he coordinates a cab for me, and I’m a little rushed to shower and put my bags outside. I regret not having a chance to shoot the shit with my brother a little bit more, but we come from an unemotional family, and we’ve spent the whole day together anyway. There are no cabs available because of the holiday, so he has to ride around town on the bike to flag one down.

  

    It’s dark, there are no street lights, and mosquitoes buzz about. I feel the loose dirt and gravel under my slippers, and the light from the blue Yaris taxi brightens the road. I tell Randy I love him, thank him, and that we’ll surf again. I give him a big hug, he hugs me back, but I barely feel it. I say, “Squeeze me, God dammit!” He does. My big, shreddah, brother in Bali, my role model. I will truly miss him.



Denpasar:


    The cab driver’s a nice guy. I tell him how much I love Bali, and he tells me how much I look Japanese. My brother said to only tip 2,000 rupiah, but my western senses make that really hard. He’s grateful for the two thousand, but I give him another two Gs. It makes me happy to make this guy’s night.


    International airports. I think Cairo was the worst one that I’ve traveled through. There are no signs for China Air, and I have one big suitcase and Klaude’s boardbag that I’m lugging around. After walking back and forth, someone tells me where to stand; the counter’s not open yet. Once it does open, I check my bags in, and I hand the guy my credit card. He swipes it, pauses, and a concerned look overcomes his face.

    “Is this the only card you have?” He says.

    “It’s not working?”

    “No. This card no work.”

    Fuck . . . I grab my Visa debit card and hand it to him.

    He looks at it, flips it around, and asks, “Is this debit?”
    “Yes.”

    “Debit no work, need credit.”

    Fuck my life. I’m feeling pretty damn vulnerable right now. “How much in rupiah?” I ask.
    “Five-hundred-fifty-thousand.”

    I pull out my dwindling wad of rupiah. I’m over two-hundred-thousand short. “Is there ATM here?” I ask.

    “Yes.” He points outside and gives me my baggage claim tickets. “Show them this at the door the come back inside.”

    Damn . . . I’m thinking about the worst case scenario. I picture myself frantically contacting my brother, asking him for some money to borrow. And then again, how the fuck would I get a hold of him? Also, what the fuck is wrong with my fucking credit card? I’m cursing Bank of America and their Hawaiian miles. Assholes.

    When I get to the exit, there’s an airport security guy sitting by the door. I tell him that I need to use the ATM. He points to a sign stating that once passengers check-in they can’t leave. I tell him I need to pay for my luggage.

    He says, “Okay, I help you.” He opens the door, but just as we’re stepping outside, an Asian tourist starts running up to the door, yelling his goodbyes to a family member inside the terminal. It catches the both of us off guard. I wait, the guard is looking at me, then he has to stop the Asian guy, and THEN the guard just gets overwhelmed. He grabs me by the arm, points to where the ATM is and says, “I help you, you help me,” then he turns and deals with the other guy.

    The whole situation is weird. Does he want a bribe, am I going to have to pay this guy just to get back in? Thank goodness, my debit card works at the ATM, but I can only withdraw rupiah. To avoid this from happening again, I take out more than I need. I go through security again and take a wide route back to China Air, avoiding the guard. I pay my rupiah, go upstairs, pay another 150,000 exit fee, and then I have one more counter to go through.

    I whip out my camera, take a pic, and the guy at the counter yells, “Hey, no photo!”

    “Oops, I’m sorry.” I shove my camera back in my pocket and approach.

    “You delete picture!” he says.

    “Ummmm,” I have to think fast. I barely use my flash. “No flash, I didn’t take picture.”

    He puts a sticker on my boarding pass and I head towards my gate. It’s midnight. Day 29 is over.