LIVING AGAIN, 13MAR2012

Location: HB

Crew: Solo

Time: 0845-0945

Conditions: Low tide, inconsistent, 3-4 FT, fast, hollow, dangerously shallow.

     I’ve been in a dark place. It’s not every day that your girlfriend of three years decides to walk out on you. I stopped surfing, stopped taking care of myself, and stopped answering the phone or replying to my friends checking on me. This is my last month in El Segundo, so I figured that Sunday night would be the last get together I’d throw. Khang, Shan, Francis, and CC showed up. It was a fun night of beer, pizza, surf porn, and Ninja Warrior. Hanging out with all my friends really lifted my spirits, and that’s when I decided: I need to live again.

Ghirardelli dark chocolate brownies with ice cream

RUSH:

     I mean to wake up. I need to turn off the alarm and start changing. It’s 0615, and I’m lying on the living room couch. It’s still dark outside, so I hit the snooze button once, then twice, and I keep doing it until it’s 0725. It’s a gloomy morning, but I reach for the phone to check the surf report. Local 2-3, poor to fair. HB . . . 3-4 occasional 5 and good? I hate myself while I’m brushing my teeth. Why the hell did I wake up so late? I’m walking to the car with two backpacks and already wearing my wetsuit. What am I forgetting? I charge the stairs again and grab my surfboard. It’s been that long.

     I’m hoping to be at HB by 0800, but once I hit the 605, it’s bumper to bumper. If I hated myself earlier, I’m hating myself even more now. I look at the clock. I should’ve been in the water a long time ago. I tell myself that I need to get back into that “first light” mentality. 

     The parking lot is empty when I reach HB. There’s no sense in checking the water first; I didn’t come all this way for nothing. I grab the DMS and hit the sand. The first signs of life are from the River Jetties. There’s a small pack of surfers there as well as some peaks. To my north, I see another peak working. Right in front of me, there’s a fast, hollow left that spits out a little. 

     Even though it’s low tide, I’m surprised that I’m able to walk to waist deep water. I paddle out and try to duckdive the next set, but my board hits the sand. I walk out a little further. The water’s so murky that it looks like red tide. The gray skies aren’t helping to improve the atmosphere either, but at least the onshore wind is so light that it’s not affecting the water’s texture. I’m expecting some small bumps that I can hunt down that will let me drop-in on the shoulder. The first wave I catch is a closeout, but the second left I get opens up. It’s a little fast, and by the time I get to the shoulder to do a turn, it’s already turning foamy from the inside.

    

Welcome Back:

     Even though the morning’s inconsistent, when the sets come, they break farther out. I try to get their fast enough to catch them, but I’m out of position. I try to go late, and the small bump doubles up inside and morphs fat and hollow. After all this time, watching surf porn, I’ve seen the pros get small barrels. I’d jump out of my seat and say, “You see, I know we can catch those barrels.” So here I am; this is the perfect opportunity. By the River Jetty, I see a guy getting slotted. He’s in there too deep and wipes out, but at least he went for it. 

     On the next set, I strategically paddle into the shoulder, hoping that I can take the easy way in, but it pitches me over before I get to my feet. On the next wave, I purl on my way down the face, and my neck snaps back as I hit the water on my backside. I’m worried about it being too shallow, but the reality is that I’m not quite up to speed for these waves yet. It’s like there is no shoulder to carve. It’s just a fast, round, tube that’s makeable if you’ve got what it takes.

New Routine:

     It’s about 0945. I can stay a little longer, but the thought of chicken pho for only $3.50 looms in the back of my mind. I am hungry, and some hot soup base and rice noodles sound good right about now. I change and drive to the pho spot that’s right by the freeway. The place is empty when I arrive. I have to eat this fast because my classes start at 1100. Even though I didn’t surf very well this morning, for the first time since SHE left, I feel a sense of peace and serenity. I’m doing the things that I love again. I’m alone, but that’s okay. I grab the chopsticks and slurp up a good helping of noodles and broth. Right now being alone is all right.