Catch Surf Beater Review

            Why was it so hard to find a legitimate review for one of these things online? For the most part, I either found videos or websites just restating the summary of what the Catch Surf Beater is made for, or just another repeat of specifications and dimensions. On Youtube, I only found video of either pros shredding on them or amateurs doing their best impressions of the pros. Regardless of now knowing for sure how these Beaters ride, I still couldn’t help but buy one anyway.

            What did I expect? I’m a sucker for Kalani Robb’s videos getting barreled on a Beater in shorepounding beach break. Other sponsored Catch Surf Pros also make the Beater look fun by doing airs and 360s on them. I became a little suspicious in how the ratio of good Beater performance videos vs bad ones are out there, and now I know the reason.

            During my first session out at my local beachbreak, I was hit with a nasty reality check. In waist to chest high consistent windswell, I was not Kalani-Robb like at all. If my weight was too far back, I instantly sunk my Beater. Too far forward, instant purl. Timing was an issue. I blew so many late takeoffs, even one with my mouth open, which caused me to swallow a Manhattan Beach Martini. Even then, my first session on this board was a long one, and even though I ate it terribly, it was the few waves that I did make that gave me just enough stoke to want to stick with it. In more detail, I got a punchy left where I was able to just pump and do a few floaters all the way to the inside. It’s like, you can’t just pop up and pump away to set yourself up like on a normal shortboard, but, if anything, the Beater will just kind of go where the wave wants it to. You, as the surfer/performer, must harness this energy and steer this thing in the best line possible to get the best ride that you can.

            Second session, I tried this thing without fins on, and you can call me a barney, but, fuckin’ A, the Beater was just too loose finless. I mean, I took it back out on a small ass day, local again, and the board was sliding all crazy like while popping up. Even with I did get up, the board just wanted to spin out. It was too hard. Reality check number 2—I need the fins.

            Third session is really what did it for me. At tiny ass Churches in San Clemente, over a cobblestone point for the first time, this board was absolutely fun in low tide, clean and peaky, thigh-high surf. Actually riding waves with shape opened up the Beater to a whole new realm of fun and stoke. I sat inside of the longboarders and was catching all the waves that they didn’t want, for sure the shortboarders didn’t give those waves so much as a glance, and yet there I was, going down the line, making sections with pumps and floaters. On my backhand going right, I was able to pump high and draw a highline all the way to the inside for long rides, even getting away with partial hang fives.

            The negatives so far about this board is that, at least for an intermediate surfer, it’s really hard to turn. When I say turn, I mean “turn” like how you would a standard shortboard. Forget about putting the Beater on rail on the bottom turn to set up for a major hack. Trust me, you will BURY the rail. Don’t even think about cutbacks. This piece of surf craft does not work that way. Since that session at Churches, I’ve taken this board out a few more times, and I’ve also realized that if the surf is big enough for your regular shortboard, then you shouldn’t be on the Beater because you’ll be shortchanging yourself. Why force the Beater to perform when your other boards are waiting and meant for that better surf? I read a lot of articles, people considering purchasing a Beater for travel in order to beat the airline fees. Even I considered this at one point, but in reality, if you’re traveling to a place with decent surf, you’ll be better off surfing a real surfboard versus a Beater. Perhaps if you’re traveling somewhere where the surf is small or crappy, it would be worth it, but that doesn’t even sound like a surf trip to begin with. Who travels for crappy waves?

            The positives about this board…it can turn a shitty and small day fun. Even upon taking this board out on bigger days, the rides that I got were so rewarding, even though I wasn’t getting any legit turns or snaps. At Churches, for instance, small waves with a little bit of shape are just absolute fun. While watching shortboarders trying to force good rides and make their boards over perform what the conditions were actually allowing, the Beater excelled by just getting down the line and doing fun floaters. Also, in small waves, since the Beater itself is small, it makes the wave feel bigger.

            Things to adjust to…First off, people will be giving you some awkward looks, especially if you have the model I have with the unicorn and rainbows. Some locals I know asked if I was riding my nephew’s board or something, and of course there were gay jokes. In the lineup, heads will turn to see “what the hell is that guy riding”. Back to turns, I’ve managed a few that I’d reclass in calling them “check snaps” because you can’t just do a full legit arc on the face. Again, this board doesn’t work like that. You’ll need to adjust your timing. If you’re too late, then you’re pretty much bodyboarding the wave. If you do make the late drop, the pumping mechanics on this board are different from a regular shortboard, so you’ll miss the section. You have to get into the wave early and by all means not late at all. Don’t expect this board to catch every single wave with ease. Remember, 54 inches is still not a lot of length to work with, so it won’t grab as many waves as a Costco foamie, but catching small waves are still doable with good paddling, positioning, and timing.

            So is it worth it? To me, absolutely, but with the clear realization that this is a novelty board that should be used in sub-stellar conditions. On a shitty morning, if I can already tell that I won’t so much as get a turn on my groveler, then I’m whipping out the Beater. It at least gives me that new option quiverwise. For the first time, I can pretty much paddle out even if the surf looks like shit and know I have the right board for it, which means I can be in the water more than before I made this investment. For a pic of my Beater, see my Instagram link.